3 Therapists Talk About Transitions

It’s been a little while since we let all of you sit in on one of our happy hour conversations. In this chat we explored the topic of transitions as each of us are STEEPED in change! Between my big move, Krista’s shift in jobs, and Sarah transitioning her 3rd child (who also happens to have Type 1 Diabetes) into kindergarten in the midst of undergoing treatment for her Lyme disease – we are certainly 3 therapists in major flux.

I (re)introduced the gals to a model of transitions by William Bridges explored in his book, The Way of Transition: Embracing Life’s Most Difficult Moments. Essentially he breaks down the experience of transition into 3 stages (we kinda like the number 3): The Ending, The Neutral Zone and The New Beginning. Listen in as we process these stages together…and laugh a little along the way too.


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1 Comment

  1. Jessica

    Transition is such an amazing/awkward sometimes unwanted thing. I have found myself in all three stages and like you guys, have found myself maybe going back to stage one or two at different times or after being triggered. Currently, I would say I am in stage two- The Neutral Stage. But with an ongoing look back in the direction of stage one- where I am still processing things. Here is my story of recent transition:

    At the end of September of 2015, I had found myself really unhappy in my job situation and was making plans to move to Florida to find work and to be with a guy I was dating and to kind of have a fresh start; a new beginning. There were a couple of things that led me to believe that my company was ready for me to leave my position and I wanted to quit but after the guy I was dating recommended I stick it out and not make an emotional decision, a week after I almost quit I was fired. (That was a loss and a hit to my character and work ethic!) It seemed to be their unfair way of dissolving the position altogether. I freaked out and got my roommate to find another friend to take over the rent of a loft style apartment that I had grown very fond of. Within a couple weeks after losing my job, I jumped into a job nannying, I started attending a women’s group once a week to process abuse and trauma from childhood (a booked/workbook titled Mending the Soul), I ended things with the guy I was dating after he feared me moving to be close to him and not knowing he was really committed to the relationship, and I ended up losing my new beginning I was after in Florida too. In the middle of November I stopped nannying and moved out of my apartment and humbly moved back in with my parents in an attempt to prepare to go back to school to study psychology, that was the only direction I knew to take since I knew getting stuck behind a desk offered no relief to find some meaning in my life. Job hunting began. But I only survived two months living with my parents. So after not finding a job and not feeling sane while living in the home that reminded me of a lot of pain, I moved back in with a gracious couple in the middle of January. I was set to start school but still had no job. I became increasingly aware that getting into so much debt and committing to such a thing while feeling so out of control and unsettled may not be the best thing so the week before I was to start classes I bailed on going back to school. Here it is the middle of February and I have had too many “almost” jobs fall into place but I am still without a job. I babysit when I can. I have never felt so unsettled. Or maybe I have and I have avoided feeling that way at all costs in the past years. I am twenty-five now. And I am in neutral stage of transition. It isn’t too fun. Some days I feel like I just kind of zone out with netflix and workouts just trying to survive the increasing unknowns.

    And like Krista mentioned- I also feel rather lost. But somehow I am slowly growing where I am and trusting that it is ok to be in this space and place. I can own it for what it is. I can embrace it. And I don’t have to force myself into stage three. And it is ok if I go back to stage one. It’s ok.

    And the fact that whatever stage of transition we find ourselves is ok was beautifully displayed in your conversation with each other. Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed hearing about your stages in transition. Thank you for giving yourselves and us permission to just be.

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